A Yobbo's View

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 17 Apr 2003 10:37:00 +0000

THIS BLOG HAS MOVED

yobbo.drivelwarehouse.com

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Tue, 15 Apr 2003 05:38:00 +0000

Moving Day! Due to Blogger's recent crappiness I will be moving the blog onto movable type as of today. Yobbo's View will be joining the Drivel Warehouse stable along with the great luminaries Rich Baillie and Gareth Parker. Special Thanks to Rich for helping me with the move across to movable type. There will be no further posts on this site, so please browse on over to the new, improved Yobbo's View!

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Mon, 14 Apr 2003 02:35:00 +0000

FUCK TERRORISTS! I don't think this makes a whole lot of sense:

THE Balinese Government will forbid any "inappropriate" rebuilding on the site of the Sari Club and Paddy's bar, the scene of so much death and anguish last October. Bali's deputy governor, I Gusti Bagus Alit Putra, said his Government would work with the municipal authorities to prevent the owners rebuilding the nightclubs.

It is my understanding that part of the reason Paddy's Bar and the Sari Club were bombed is because of the distaste on part of radical Islamists for drinking and debauchery in general (Along with, of course, the chance to kill a lot of Westerners). They see Bali as a kind of modern Sodom and wanted to send a message. What better way to commemorate those who lost their lives by rebuilding the places bigger and better than before? If it were up to me, I'd build the biggest, shiniest, seediest nightclub the world has ever seen in it's place. The people who died in Bali were there for drinking and good times! Just as they will rebuild the World Trade Centre with a new, improved version of the same, let's send a message to those responsible that our way of life will continue despite their violence. Those who died in Bali would be remembered by future generations of Australians visiting the pub built in their memory, and continuing a tradition that someone tried to destroy.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Fri, 11 Apr 2003 06:41:00 +0000

I Don't Like Cricket, Oh No Scott Wickstein has a good preview of the Windies/Australia test that started last night. Since it's already started though, let's take a look at the big news so far.

Australia chose to play both spinners. (Leaving out Martin Love)
With Hogg, Bichel and Lee in the side, Gilchrist moves to #6, and either Bichel or Hogg will be #7. In one day matches Australia has chosen Hogg ahead of Bichel, but Bichel's good form should see him get the #7 spot. If he continues to bat well, he becomes what we have lacked since, well forever. A genuine test All-Rounder.
Bichel has already chipped in with 3 wickets, including Lara. Not a bad start.
Brett Lee dismissed debutant opener Devon Smith LBW, after it came basically off the middle of the bat onto his pad. A truly disgraceful decision by Rudi Koertzen.
Four LBW's in the first innings. That is a lot.
The West Indies are awful and we will win 4-0 barring a double century by Lara.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Fri, 11 Apr 2003 06:03:00 +0000

Sux 2 B Me! Today I was planning on making an announcement that would, in effect, end my blogging adventure. I applied to join the RAAF officer training program to be an Air Traffic Controller a while back. Last Friday I went in for my aptitude and ability testing at the Defence Force Recruiting center, and sat numerous tests. The tests consisted of a pretty standard IQ test, as well as 2 specific tests sat by only RAAF officers enlisting as Pilots or Air Traffic Controllers. I got through these pretty handily and today was scheduled for medical testing and my final Interview. Getting through this final stage would see me offered a position in the officer training school in Point Cook, Victoria. Unfortunately for me, I was deemed medically unfit for enlistment. I can quite confidently say I disagreed with the doctor's conclusion. I have a skin condition that could be aggravated by combat training in swamp or jungle situations, which seems hardly important considering that the job I applied for was a non-combat role. In any case I doubt I will be appealing the decision, so my announcement today is considerably less triumphant than I anticipated. It's not all bad news, however! After all, Iraq has been liberated by Coalition forces, and the Iraqi people are dancing in the streets (despite the predictions of the doomsayers). Along with that, my blog today will click over 5,000 unique hits today! That's about 85 a day since I started in January. So, thanks to everyone who has found time to read this blog since I started up, and I hope you continue to do so.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 10 Apr 2003 14:01:00 +0000

Proof that AOL is evil I think Margo Kingston just found my website! Elsewhere on AOL:

Message Boards about "Uday Hussein is sexy"
Home Pages about "Uday Hussein is sexy"
Kids Only sites about "Uday Hussein is sexy"

That's right kids!

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 10 Apr 2003 05:54:00 +0000

Design Change Nothing special here, I just made a new column on the right to keep permalinks to some of my more substantial rants. This is primarily for the benefit of the 10 billion visitors I have had in the last few days looking for Democracy, Whiskey and Sexy. Enjoy!

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 10 Apr 2003 00:50:00 +0000

LIBERATION First, some housekeeping: Tim Blair is caught in a quandary:

I SHOULDN'T be so happy. After all, I'm a right-wing deathbeast, and the end (or near end) of a war should upset me, because we conservatives lust for war all the time. Except when we have to fight it ourselves, of course. Being chickenhawks and all.

I'm also happy the quagmire is no more. No "million Mogadishus", no "hundreds of thousands of dead innocents". If you have a TV or an Internet thingo, the pictures of Liberated Iraqis are all around you. Go take a look because I'm going to be watching it too.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 10 Apr 2003 00:29:00 +0000

Greenpeace are Idiots. Free speech is a basic right in our country. Unfortunately, some elements in our society think that means that anything goes, as long as it's accompanied by a message. Free Speech means what it says. It doesn't give you the right to sabotage, piracy or otherwise hinder the actions of groups you are opposed to. Actions like those yesterday highlight just how idiotic Greenpeace are. How can they be sure the RAN knew what the mission of the boats was? As Gareth notes:

Should someone have told them that the main role of the navy is to remove mines that impede the humanitarian effort? Do the Greens want the mines to stay in place or do they want humanitarian aid to get through?

Of course the obvious answer is: They don't give a shit. They just want to get on the news no matter what happens. The only way the protest could have been more successful for Greenpeace is if the RAN Vessel opened fire on their boats. Not only would that mean worldwide coverage for Greenpeace, but a huge increase in their membership out of sympathy for the "innocent" victims. I use the word "innocent" in quotation marks for a good reason. Members of Greenpeace and affiliated NGO's are guilty of many crimes, ranging from Piracy to outright Wetworks. Apart from the obvious illegality of actions against Warships, Greenpeace could quite easily be digging their own graves through their actions. Fedayeen in Iraq are already conducting suicide attacks disguised as Red Crescent Ambulances. How long before the first suicide attack under a Greenpeace Flag? Boarding naval vessels is possibly the most stupid thing I can think of at this point in time. At least they had the good sense to do it to an Australian vessel this time. God knows what would have happened if they tried it on a US warship, and they've already been given a pretty clear message by the French.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Wed, 09 Apr 2003 12:34:00 +0000

Just Because I'm Paranoid, It Doesn't Mean They Aren't Out To Get Me! Commandante Corr thinks the US is deliberately targetting independent media in Baghdad because...well, he doesn't really offer any motive, I guess it's just because they are eeeeeeevil.

The Americans knew exactly what they were bombing. Abu Dhabi TV's "identity is spelled out in large blue letters on the roof". The Palestine Hotel is, to steal Ken's phrase, "notoriously where nearly all international journalists were headquartered". Al Jazeera insists that "Our office is in a residential area and even the Pentagon knows its location". So were the attacks accidental? Based on the eyewitness accounts: No. Against Al Jazeera, the US seems to have flown past a couple of times to make sure they hit the right target:

In an unrelated story, Rob's local deli has completely sold out of aluminium foil. And hats.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Wed, 09 Apr 2003 06:35:00 +0000

Whales: Succulent and Tasty! Scientists aren't convinced that whales are all they are cracked up to be.

Less intelligent whale species are much like sheep and should be sustainably hunted, says one of the nation's most influential environmental scientists, Tim Flannery. In a controversial paper to be published in next week's Quarterly Essay, Dr Flannery, author, mammalogist and director of the South Australian Museum, says whale protection has departed from "environmental logic".

Of course, such revelations are nothing new to thinkers such as Maddox, who writes:

Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors. When they're not busy ravaging the high seas, they're getting beached and rotting to death out of spite so nobody can enjoy the beach. In fact, when is the last time a whale did anything other than some stupid trick like jumping out of the water? Ooh, the whale can jump out of the water. Big deal. Try building an oil rig, then I'll be impressed asshole.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Tue, 08 Apr 2003 10:03:00 +0000

Quotes of the Day When people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together. -- Isaac Asimov, "The Relativity of Wrong" (1989) The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple. -- Amos Bronson Alcott, Orphic Sayings,"The Teacher" (1840) Are you listening?

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Tue, 08 Apr 2003 07:14:00 +0000

The Best Page in The Universe Well, mine is pretty good, but even I have to defer to the master.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Tue, 08 Apr 2003 06:35:00 +0000

I Win! This thing is stupid, but that's never kept anything off my blog, so why start now?

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Tue, 08 Apr 2003 01:57:00 +0000

Blogging Can Save Your Life! A fascinating story of one blogger's encounter with a new girlfriend, and how his posting about her on his blog led to an amazing revelation from a reader.

I've never received any kind of crank message related to a blog entry. "She's not the person she claims to be" sounds more like a line of dialogue from a Hollywood thriller, not real life. In spite of my incredulity, I couldn't write it off as some kind of prank. Whoever wrote the letter knew too many details about New Girl to just be some random person playing a joke. Was this person telling the truth, or was this someone with a personal vendetta against New Girl?

It gets even murkier later on. Read the whole thing here.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Mon, 07 Apr 2003 12:49:00 +0000

Impersonating Saddam just isn't as much fun as it used to be, even in Hollywood

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Sun, 06 Apr 2003 22:21:00 +0000

The News in Brief Steven Den Beste explains why the siege of Baghdad is not a siege at all. Freedom-loving Iraqi man looks forward to US led installation of Democracy, Whiskey and Sexy in Iraq. Lileks likes it:

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Sat, 05 Apr 2003 10:07:00 +0000

Photoshop Fun Fark.com's latest photoshop competition asks readers to present Fox News' spin on major events in world history. Here's a good one:

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Sat, 05 Apr 2003 07:18:00 +0000

This is the kind of value $4 million gets you nowadays. Whirlpool broadband's story explained the cost breakdown of Richard Alston's site: The $4 million cost to taxpayers included:

$1.2 Million spent on website development
$956,000 spent on hosting and support services
$928,000 spent on software; and
$661,000 spent on hardware.
That's a hell of a lot of money for a site that gets significantly fewer hits than Instapundit. Especially when a template of that quality could be found for free on one of numerous open-source web development sites. "I would have thrown in a Plasma TV for every member of the department in a $2 million dollar quote," said Reid Hall, an Australian web developer. Note: This is the guy who decides Australia's policy on the internet. God help us all.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 03 Apr 2003 12:46:00 +0000

Welcome Moon Landing Freaks! Scroll down or click here for my post on the Cutting Edge April Fool's joke.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 03 Apr 2003 03:56:00 +0000

Now With Extra Gelatine! Conservative Ice Cream! A fine alternative to the Cherry Guevara

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Thu, 03 Apr 2003 01:17:00 +0000

Tony the Teacher is a great man.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Wed, 02 Apr 2003 23:44:00 +0000

I'll Get Him Next Time Drew Curtis keeps pipping me at the post in the hit count. 1 Million Hits on April Fools day.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Wed, 02 Apr 2003 16:28:00 +0000

Drastically Deluded Dept. Now that Uday seems to have been "Decapitated", the question is: Who will replace him as Iraq sports minister in the post-war administration? Now, I can't claim to know the selection criteria for the job, but based on my knowledge of Uday, I'd have to assume that "Crazy as a loon" would be one of the key qualifications. With that in mind, I'd like to present my candidate, Greg Matthews.

Former Australian representative and NSW captain Greg Matthews believes at the age of 43 that he is still good enough to play first-class cricket, and rates himself the second-best spinner in NSW heading into this weekend's Sydney grade final.

No doubt his first act as Iraq sports minister would be to request that all players remove their headgear.

noreply@blogger.com (Sam Ward) — Tue, 01 Apr 2003 23:48:00 +0000

Ghurkas on Patrol Ghurka soldiers patrol in Iraq. (pic stolen from News Corp) When the British were out colonising Asia, they kept running into these guys. Not only did they hand the British their ass in a paper bag, they did it in such a brave and noble fashion it brought the British generals to tears. Since the 1800's Ghurkas have fought alongside British and Australian troops. From Gallipoli to East Timor: Ghurkas. If you aren't familiar with the history of the Ghurka fighters, it would be in your best interests to read the history of the Brigade of Ghurkas. 30,000 Nepalese apply to be Ghurkas each year, of which about 200 are accepted. When human beings eventually invent the Lightsaber, it will be the Ghurkas who wield them. Thats how fucking cool Ghurkas are. The only real warrior caste that can lay claim to the coolness of the Ghurka is the Ninja, which is explained by Robert. Unlike Ninjas, however, Ghurkas are still around and still fighting, which gives them the edge over the Ninja. Debates over whether the name "Ninja" or "Ghurka" is cooler will be restricted to the comments box. "Hi there!"